Letting Go of a Past Relationship Peacefully and Moving On

Look closely- A shadow may be clouding your future, your happiness. Its the shadow cast by the pain in your past; the friend who betrayed you, the ex who let you go, parents who were never there for you, the employer who rejected you, the bad choices you made, the doctors report. It is very easy to get stuck in the darkness of past memories, but time to wake up. Letting go of something that once gave you joy but later sadness is a very painful thing to do. In short it is one of the hardest thing to do. In as much as it is the hardest thing to do, it is also one of the most empowering thing that you will ever do.
Now lets talk about relationships, letting go of an ex. This is someone you thought ''bad as e bad'' he/she will never leave your side. someone that you have invested your money, time, care , love and attention. And then all of a sudden, the dream of spending the rest of your life with that person is now a nightmare. You feel rejected, betrayed and left in the dark. You see them everyday happy with another person (someone you love with all your heart), you feel heart broken. Yes its painful oh, i don't think there is anyone who can say they have never been through heart break. For months now, i have been battling it myself. But i have come to discover that while i am busy crying over my ex, he is busy enjoying himself, going to the movies, church, parties with his new found love. so i made it a decision to LET GO.

Learning to let go and make peace with the situation is vital. It involves rethinking boundaries and learning to understand that you can't force people to do things or to love you in return- it means setting yourself FREE.
Funny enough, i see letting go of a past relationship as mourning the dead (yes, its that painful). The ways one can take in letting go of the past, in which i have practicalized over the years is as follow;

Acceptance: To let go, you need to accept that the relationship has come to an end. It is hard but it means you are facing reality. If you are not aware that it is over, you wont overcome the pain and sadness.To accept, you need to start doing things you normally wont do- make new friends, discover new hobbies...

Process the pain: Please take your time to mourn- cry your eyes out if you have to. Lock yourself in the room if you want to. What ever works for you in fighting pain, take your time and do it. Don't force yourself to get over it in a rush. Some people make the mistake of entering into another relationship with the hope of getting over an ex. I tell you categorically, it doesn't work. You don't have to get into any relationship to get over pain. Take your time and feel the pain.

Don't Stalk : I can say this because i am a victim. I realized that stalking just increases the pain. Dont go every minute to check up on what they are up to on social media. Seeing them post another lady/guy picture as his WCW (Woman Crush Wednesday) or MCM (Man Crush Monday) will not only make you sad, but bring back the pain. Let it be,reading their post can keep you stuck. Please fight it, and avoid their page.

Don't Try To Be His/Her Friend: This will not work at all.You just might be the one getting sunk again in emotions. Space will help you grow. You really don't have to be close to someone to show that you love them. So let he/she be. You cant be friends for now.

Love Your Life: Do something you have avoided doing out of fears. Start doing things that will make you happy. Go on dates, go to the movies, club (if you want to), go to the beach, do things that can put a smile on your face.When you start the journey of self love and acceptance, you will discover that you will start gaining new friendship
True Confession: I tried this out and trust me, people i never ever expected to walk up to me or call me on the phone, started doing so. But don't get caught up in the excitement that you forget to make the right choice. Be smart.

Reflect on the Wrong: Once you have made it past the grieving and acceptance stage, you will discover that what use to shack you in the person, now irritates you. You start reflecting on the wrong. That is when you start seeing the flaws in your past relationship. Before now, you were only thinking of the beautiful things you will miss. But once you accept to let go, you start noticing that it wasn't all that great.

Remember that there is not always a one true love: Some people come into our lives for a reason, either to teach us a lesson or to expose us to a new way of seeing things. Learn something from the past relationship. Their mission in your life is over. Time to take what you learnt into making the next person happy.Open up to the reality that ending is the beginning of something far more better and greater than what you have experienced.

You see in life, we are entitled to our decision- decide to let go today and give yourself peace.







































Love Your Live: