Let me explain what a bride price is especially in Nigeria. Bride price to me is the "KOKO" , it is the Marriage itself, all other ceremonies are just for formality sake.The Bride Price also known as "Dowry" is the amount in terms of money or goods paid or given to the family of the bride.
Some people see it as a way of buying their wife from her family for all the years they have been training and feeding her. In some cultures in Nigeria, it may be so. The bride price is a combination of the tubers of yam you bring,the packs of wine, the oil, the traditional amount and all other requirements given by the family of the bride to the groom. The amount a groom pays as a bride price depends on the tribe, culture and also the parents of the bride. In Edo State for example, Benin precisely, the amount paid is just so little- N24 (twenty four naira), so future husband to be, take note...lol
The Igbos on the other hand, have a high request in terms of the amount paid as bride price which over the years created a lot of controversies. They see it as a way of knowing if the man is capable of taking care of their daughter. The amount sometimes differs- from 1million to 200 thousand etc.
Reading down history, i discovered that bride price is like a certificate, it is the bond that exist between the family of the woman you intend to marry and the family of the man. It is a bond because if the man decides to divorce the woman, the first thing the family of the woman need to do is return the bride price.
It is not proper at all in anyway for the woman to support the man in paying her bride price. She can assist him in other ways but not in paying her own bride price. If the man is not financially stable, he should hold on until he is. What makes you the man of the house if the woman at the end of the day is the one who paid her own bride price? Women be careful too, don't let Love lead you to pay your own bride price.
We treated this topic recently on air and got a lot of response, some men see nothing wrong in it while some hated the thought of it. We also got a lot of experiences from women who went ahead to support in paying their bride price. A particular message i got told us how she did it and now they are separated. Yes i know paying of bride price is not a guarantee that the marriage will work or not, but it is just a normal rite that should be entitled to the man only.
I have seen and heard of cases where someone on his own jeje will decide to get married and then turn to task collector, going from one person to the other to ask for support. I remember i had to settle a big quarrel one time between two friends, one of them who just got married was upset with the other for not giving him money to settle some wedding bills..hello!!! Na who send you message?
This brings me to my next question, should bride price be scrapped?
There is this app that helps calculate your bride price. Although a lot of people criticized it but calculate your bride price and tell me what you think...
http://www.brideprice.com.ng/#pagetwo
7 comments:
Why not? It's a home in the making. Anybody that has anything to contribute should not hesitate to put it on the table.
If d guy no get am complete, and d girl hold it, she fit help d guy out. Nothing spoil.
If she feels too strongly about it though, she could package it as a soft loan, to be repaid at a later date.
IF D LUV IS THERE. AND D LADY REALY WANT TO MARY D GUY, SHE CAN CONTRIBUT HER OWN QUATER 4 D SUCESS OF D MARSIAGE
Well I dont know about other state oh, a man that can not pay the pride price in Edo is not ready for marriage, abi Una dey talk about the wedding ceremony in a whole... how is a pride price that a man can not pay why is he marrying then
u jst spoke of edo state of whc d bride price isnt evn up to #50, there are some places whr bride price goes in tunes of #200k or evn half a million $ above i tink dts wat d questioner is refering to
A WOMAN SHOULD NEVER SUPPORT WITH 1 PENNY TO PAY HER OWN BRIDE PRICE. SHE CAN ONLY SUPPORT THE CEREMONY BUT THE PRIDE PRICE IN QUESTION.. NEVER, I MEAN NEVER... SUPPORTING TO PAY YOUR OWN BRIDE PRICE IS DESPERATION.. A MAN THAT CANNOT PROVIDE FOR HIS HOME IS WORST THAN AN INFIDEL.. E CLEAR SAY A MAN THAT NEEDS A WOMANS FINANCIAL SUPPORT TO ESTABLISH A HOME WORST PASS.... LAZY MEN DON'T AND I MEAN NEM IGAZ AND NEVER TRY TO HIDE BEHIND THIS SHIT SENTIMENT .... GO AND STRUGGLE TO PAY HER BRIDE PRICE WHICH SYMBOLIZES RESPECT AND VALUE FOR THE CHOSEN WIFE..HOW CAN A WOMAN ACCEPT FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY TO MARRY A MAN... BETTER STILL PAYING THE PRICE MEANS MARRIAGE TO SELF... WHO PAY THE PRICE? WHO MARRY WHO?
This is bullshit and we know it...i reckon she waits for a man..."Man enough"...to pay her bride price...time will tell..we have only looked at this matter from one angle....and secondly the gorgeous princess uvbi is a woman she wouldn't understand it from a man's perspective...LOVE is the key...if she's ok with the guy i mean is there is mutual unnderstanding....they can work things out...hmp!...One of the rules of life is to break some rules of life....things doesn't have to be done the way they are supposed...#I_LOVE_PRINCESSUVBI
Believe me, eventho this looks lik a simple question, the answer is very dicey. For men who dont blink an eye in seeing anything bad with a woman paying part/all her bride price, i wonder the sense of responsibility.... sincerely if we talk abt the money or stuffs the man presents to the woman's family to ask for their daughter, then under no circumstances should the lady pay a dime - this has nothing to do with love or lack of it. On the other hand, a woman who has should support the man in other expenses like d party, their clothings, things to be used, etc. But a woman should never "pay for her own head". Even if d man doesnt have, he should borrow(shame tho) and then d wife might help him offset the debt after the wedding. I think in this case she is not directly paying for "her head". Men should be alert to the fact that marriage is greatly about preparedness. However, i heard some ladies get so desparate they will be the one to woo n even marry a man. In the case of desperation, ladies go ahead n foot all d bill. But pause and consider the fact that this desperation wont keep u in ur marriage. Marriage is reality.
Post a Comment